Thursday, June 9, 2011

Love lost, Love won

We grow up believing that love is out there for all of us, you have this one chance of a great love or soul-mate, that is searching for us or vice versa. Who is to say there is one, we form all sorts of relationships through time, searching for the ONE! I remember my first love, I was 8 years old, his name was Jerry, we were next door neighbors, would play kiss and chase, he gave me his Dallas Cowboys jacket to wear, went camping with his family, and he moved away months later. Then there was Paul, we were in the 7th grade, he asked me to my first school dance ( even though it was the Halloween Costume Dance, I dressed as a Rocker, he as a baseball player ) and gave me my first official kiss. I was so excited, we would hold hands, walk me to class, exchange notes and have lunch together. After our 2 month courtship, the devastating news: he decided he liked my friend instead of me. I remember crying on the bus home. Fast forward to my high school boyfriend, Danny, gosh I thought the moon of him. Totally, in love for the first time, my first real relationship ( funny when I think about it, we were only in High School and I thought he was my future ) we were inseparable, we had so much fun together I spent many of birthdays and holidays with him and his family. He gave me a promise ring, I knew he was the one and I loved this kid. I lost my virginity to him, after he said those three little words: I LOVE YOU! But as the story goes, after 3 years he moved on and broke my heart. I cried for days, months, and I was so certain I would never love anyone again like him. But, I did get over him and met my ex-husband, we fell for each other like fire. I knew I wanted to marry this man, to spend the rest of my life together. We were so different, I was from a big city, him a small town, I was catholic, he was Baptist, our backgrounds couldn’t have any different but, we knew it would work because we loved each other so much. We had a beautiful wedding, built our first home, lived our lives to the fullest, but I guess something was missing. Because no matter how much love I had for him, he fell in love with someone else. I have never been truly hurt or as heart-broken as I was in that point of my life. I thought losing my father years before was bad, but this had topped all other pain I had experienced. I never thought I would get over this heart-break, the divorce, and the moving on from this person who was my best friend, my lover, my family, and the person I was to grow old with. Do you question: was he really the ONE, was he my soul-mate, do you trust your heart again. How do you open heart to love again, how do you believe in love ever after when you have love lost and love won several times in your own life. Do you give up on the chance of love, I did make it from that experience of love lost and I did love again, but was it the ONE TRUE LOVE that I have been searching for. I don’t know yet but, I will make it a journey to find it. For now I will love all those around me until love finds me. Some people only experience the love of their life, one time and some have to kiss a lot ( and I mean ALOT ) of frogs to find their one Prince or Princess for a happily ever after.

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