I'm Looking for Love, Real Love......

So, I see around me my friends in their new, full of PDA, in love relationships. I remember that feeling of excitement, anticipation from a text or phone call, the feeling of wooziness of being together, and pure happiness. I wish I could retain those feelings forward four years later. I love my boyfriend but can I say that I’m in love not even 80%. There are a few things I wish he would change for himself and for us to have a future together. But as I speak to my friends both male and female, would you risk happiness over loneliness… I mean here I am been bed ridden for the last week, I’ve needed up getting in and out of bed, he helped me in the shower, cooked for me, and has seen me at my worse moments ( sans make-up and hair did ). So he loves me more than anyone besides my mom, he has no family that he can rely on, because I’m all he has. With that said, I want to love and be in love 100% head over heels and make me so unbelievably madly in love. I want this, I need this, so why can’t I have it. I know I need to make some changes in my life because maybe being alone is better than being.
Carrie : “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love. And I don’t think that love is here in this expensive suite in this lovely hotel in paris”

Carrie Bradshaw
Sex & the City